never give up
My Mom has MS, my Dad died 10 years after battling Cancer. I was 218lbs before deciding the quality of my life and the possibility of not being here to be a mother to my daughter was more important then my self pitty.
I saw a photo of myself sitting on a swing holding my 11 month old daughter and I saw how big and un-healthy I was. I remembered that day and being out of wind walking from the lakeshore to the swings. The day I saw that photo is also the day i decided to fight back.
It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t pretty. I cut out all soda, all fast food, all pork and beef products, all extra salt, all extra sugar. Took coffee black, made own salad dressings, started paying attention to what and when I ate, and the emotions that made me crave food. I started with little steps; parking far from store entrances, taking the stairs, yoga dvd’s at home. I joined a gym. It was scary seeing all the skinny people, feeling like i looked like a joke, feeling the pain of pushups and the strain of sit-ups. It took awhile to build up endurance and the strength. I didn’t let that stop me. I didn’t let my self confidence, self pitty, self- hate talk stop me. I started running, stair climbing, boxing, and loving myself. I took the free classes and the gym, made some great friends with hopes just like me. We were our support system. Sharing workout ideas and cooking tips.Holding each other accountable and pushing each other through the workouts. The gym became a second home to me.
I cooked clean at home, make simple substutions for oil, butter and sugar. I still make brownies, cakes and cookies- only a little more healthy.
I did it without pills, fad diets or medical procedures. I did it with he hope of living a healthy full life, of being “here” for my daughter, of being a better happier person.
Now I am 142lbs. I work as a Volunteer EMT/ Fire-Fighter recruit. I volunteer with my daughters Kindergarten class andI have the energy to keep up. I make simple choices at restaurants, we eat our veggies at home, and we do occasionally have a soda. I have learned that being skinny does not mean you are healthy, life is what you make it, and with determination, will power and hope anything is possible.
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