I saved my own Life.
“Welcome Back to Life” thats what my doctor told me today after she jumped up and down saying “you did it Bonne!” This has been a long journey and its still not over. July 1st 2009 i got test results that changed my life. Blood Pressure 190/100…A1C 9 (glucose) which was 454..Triglycerides 660…Cholesterol…189 Fast forward 19 months and 14 dress sizes…..December 6th 2010…Blood pressure 114/70….A1C 4.2 which was 89…Triglycerides 101….Cholesterol 31 Went from 16 medications to 2.
First Question i asked her was if she was sure she had the right paperwork..and did someone switch the blood samples and scans? I don’t think i ever heard the term everything is normal pertaining to medical test in my whole life. I still didnt believe it till she printed the ones out from July and showed me them side by side. Then the tears came. I realized what i had just done. I saved my own life.
Even though i still have some more weight to lose i am healthy. Thats what i started this lifestyle change for, to be healthy. Not to get attention, get a man, look better. I didn’t want to die like the rest of my family has for generations because of food.
People have surgery to lose weight, all sorts of approaches that work… but don’t last. Surgery is a quick fix. It doesn’t give you the time to learn how to adjust to a new way of eating. Most people that have had surgery over eat the surgery and start back at square 1. When you are overweight you find any excuse not to lose the weight…healthy food is expensive, i can’t eat like that, i don’t have time to workout, i have a thyroid problem. Healthy food is not more than unhealthy food. You make time to work out.. even a simple walk is working out. Thyroid…mine just started working so i did all of this with a nonfunctioning thyroid….I can’t eat like that or its just to hard… thats the one i hear over and over. TRUTH–its not that you can’t do it, its that you won’t do it. Yes its hard , thats the one ill give you. It just takes that first step.. that moment you realize that if you don’t take control back over your body you are going to die. We all struggle to live in one way or the other, but when it comes to food , thats something that can be controlled.
I was the emotional eater. i ate for every emotion i had and some i just made up for the hell of it. I thought being almost 350 pounds was no big deal. i was a BBW . I convinced myself that i was fine that way that it didnt matter.. being overweight was normal. While eating dinner i was thinking about what i was gonna have for breakfast. Thats not normal. I have been overweight my whole life and damn straight my family made sure i knew i was the heaviest. But its funny that i can’t remember my grandma making salad one time. All of that is something i had to work on to even be able to do this. And yes once a week i will eat foods i know i shouldn’t and overeat as well but the next day is a new day. and you start over. Once you eat healthier food for a long time, when you do eat foods you shouldnt believe me your body will let you know you shouldnt have eaten that in the worst possible way. Like my Dr says “your body will flip the script on itself.”
This took a lot of self control,a lot of prayers (thank you God) mental awareness, therapy, support from the best friends and sisters i know, the best Dr. i have ever had, strict regimen of working out , eating healthy, and focas on life. And of course good phentermine…which i dont suggest if you have high blood pressure. Could i gain it all back? Yes i could. Will I? No i wont, because losing it slower made me learn how to maintain it, work harder, know my limits, handle my emotions in a different way instead of eating them away. Food can be an addiction just like drugs and alcohol. Its something i will have to fight everyday for the rest of my life. And i look forward to it. ( oh and its not that i cant quit smoking, i just dont want to..i can admit that)
Im not a normal weight. Im a healthy weight. I never wanted to be thin. I just didn’t want to die. I think it actually hit me yesterday in the mall when i went into Sears and went straight to Plus size and realized nothing would fit me there and asked the sales lady where the smaller plus size was? She said… that would be the womans department. Thats when it hit me that these months i have been complaining nothing fits right is because all this time i have been in the wrong department. …………………….TRUTH
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