I battled the bulge my entire life..my fat suit was always showing no matter how hard I tried to hide it from others. Living morbidly was normal for me and I had no idea my life would ever be different. Bullied constantly in school because I was way bigger than everyone else made it worse for me, food was my best friend and I spent time with it daily. A big emotional eater and not very active at all left me at 332 pounds by age 28. I was used to hiding out and healing with food, saying no parties and dates with friends because I was so humiliated by my size. Boyfriends were few and far between and I never got asked to the prom instead I was busy ripping down pictures of pigs that were taped to the outside of my locker. It all changed in 2008 after I bumped into an old friend that thought I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe she thought that..was I really that large??? Yup I was and it hit me like a ton of bricks that day. I drove home crying barely able to see the road from all the tears streaming out of my tired eyes and I was so mad at her for even thinking that. But my anger turned into determination that night as I lay in bed and promised myself that I needed to either die young or change my path. I chose the latter..I cleaned out my fridge throwing out all the to go containers from late nights at eateries and started using an at home walking dvd because I didnt want to walk outside. I could barely make it my first workout but I just kept on trucking..nothing was stopping me. Over the few months into my new life I was dropping weight and soon could try different workouts at home other than walking. Programs like Slim in 6 and Turbo Jam which are more total body workouts. It was a long time into my journey before I felt comfortable setting foot in a gym and I much preferred sweating my weight away in the living room. My nutrition consisted of lean cuisines and smart ones microwaveable meals because I had no idea what a normal portion size was so I had to train myself to eat smaller. My former lunches were a whole pizza pie and a gallon of milk at one sitting..and I’ve even ordered a huge cake decorated for a fake friends birthday all for me to devour. Im guilty of ordering 3 value meals at McDonalds all with different drinks..just for me to hide the fact that every meal I ordered was for myself! But I was done with all of that mess and really wanted my entire life to change. Its amazing how much people treat you differently after losing weight and how your entire life changes. That to me is worth all the sweat, blisters, calluses and tears that I had during my four long years of this journey. I had looked at gastric bypass previously but was to afraid of the risks and with no healthcare coverage I knew I couldn’t afford it. Tv shows like the Biggest Loser and Dr Oz kept me motivated to keep going along with the compliments I was receiving. In July 2011 I had lost 100 pounds total and I remember calling my mom up to let her know I was cured of obesity and that I could live normal now. So excited about my success I thought I could quit working out and eating healthy, I thought I could go back to my old ways and was excited for french fries and cake. It had been so long! I stopped exercising and eating healthy altogether..after all I was cured!! Right…WRONG!!!!! The weight started coming right back on and soon I had gained back almost 50 pounds in a few short months. Thats when it hit me..this is a lifestyle change..not a fad. This is something you have to do day in and day out in order to get lifetime results. So back to eating healthy and fitness I went. In December 2012 I was stuck at 193 pounds, had been since July and I could feel myself wanting to quit again. One day in January 2013 during the “new years resolution craze” I decided to start writing about my struggles, goals and success on a facebook page named eatrunliftrepeat I never thought anyone would pay attention to me other than a few friends and I didn’t care. I made the page so that way I could get my feelings out, an online diary if you will. So thus eatrunliftrepeat was born. I also took advice from a friend that introduced me to clean eating, completely eliminating all processed boxed junk from my diet. I started elimination slowly so that way I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. First it was microwaveable dinners and next it was coffee creamer and finally sodas..I had a major addiction to Diet pepsi. It was hard at first and the headaches were unbearable but I knew I was having headaches for a reason and that it wasn’t good to have such a reaction from foods/drinks. I vowed I would “blog” daily about my struggles, I vowed to exercise 5 days a week and eat healthy 6 days..leaving one day for myself to have whatever I wanted. I cannot begin to tell you how much eating clean has changed my life, I have so much clarity and the fog is lifted. I no longer look at food as if its my last supper or Im about to head off to the island for Survivor. I look at food as a means to fuel my machine. I eat smaller portions of clean foods every 3 hours. I have not cut out carbs only the bad ones. I drink over 140 oz of water daily and I love it. For someone that previously only drank it with her toothpaste in the morning this is huge! My facebook page has over 2,500 followers and its growing daily. I have lost almost 58 pounds since December bringing my total loss to over 190 pounds in 4 years! No pills or doctors! My life is completely different now..I have been featured in national magazines for my story and just was certified to be a personal trainer so I can help other people out there that are in my old shoes..I want to help them get into my shoes now. Because if I can do this anybody can. Workouts I do currently are p90x, Insanity and I love lifting weights at the gym. I blog daily and honestly and get countless emails every night from people thanking me for inspiring them. I wake up everyday so completely blessed and still pinch myself that its not a dream. I’m starting an online personal training business via webcam and writing a book. The sky is the limit for me now and it just goes to show you that with a ton of persistence and a dream you can do anything you set your mind to. I always laughed at people when they said things like that..but I was wrong, way wrong in fact. For now I’m living the dream and that to me is worth way more than a second helping of pizza.
