A Changing Heart
July 4, 2012. I came home from the hospital with our third child. I weighed 295lbs. It was the heaviest I had ever been.
I hated myself, from the way I looked, the way I felt, to the way I even walked. Or waddled rather… I knew we weren’t going to have anymore children. My oldest child kept asking why I was so big, and was sure to let everyone know her mommy had a big belly. I hated shopping, for food, clothes, even shoes and jewelry. My ring size had gotten up to an 8, my shoe size a 10.
I wore a size 26 dress, pants and a 4x shirt. I was miserable taking medications for blood pressure and migraines. My doctor kept telling me I was morbidly obese and recommended I undergo weight loss surgery. That was pretty much the last straw for me. I decided my life was more valuable, and my children deserved a better role model, and a mom that could play for more than 10 minutes before tiring out. So I decided to start dieting. Dieting alone I lost about 15lbs.
Then I bought a treadmill. The weight just started falling off. 295, 280, 270, 250, 220, etc. Around 215 I really stalled. I was so upset. I’ve had a bad food addiction, and its like any other addiction. I read therapy books and prayed. Soon I realized that piece of chocolate or that extra bowl of rice wasn’t worth it. So I decided to track all of my calories. I had to burn more than consumed, and I made sure I walked at least ten thousand steps a day.
I started parking far away from the store, or the entrance to my work building. I also would run 5 miles a day 5 days a week. I started lifting weights and drinking protein shakes. I lost inches and gained muscle. I realized I had to take care of myself, and I found myself again in doing so. I wear a size MEDIUM now in clothes. I wear size 9 shoes.
And my ring size is down to a 6. I’ve lost 120 lbs. I feel amazing. Better yet, my amazing kids don’t think I’m fat anymore. I’m off blood pressure medication, and I literally have changed the way I think and feel about food. I don’t eat to comfort me. I eat to sustain me.
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